The Prayer to be Broken

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Favim.com-20753I had come to a place where I truly wanted to make a difference in this world. I wanted future generations to be different because I knew Christ and dedicated my life to His service. I wanted to minister in a place that would impact my city, state, and the world. I wanted my message to stir complacent hearts and convict wayward sinners. I wanted a change so dramatic that no one would ever recognize me.

I knew in my heart of hearts I was not ready to make a difference like that. There were parts of me that my Heavenly Father had yet to prepare.

I must to go Him.

While spending a significant time in prayer to God about my life and ministry, I continued to hear the Lord speak to me: “Simplify your life girl, s-i-m-p-l-i-f-y y-o-u-r l-i-f-e.” To hear something once from the Lord is an awesome and powerful experience, but when it comes over and over, it becomes overwhelming and you just know that this is the beginning of a “time for change.”

Without hesitation I packed everything I owned in my car and drove away from my life of over a half  of a century. I left behind memories, careers, children, grandchildren, life-time friends, and most of all, my husband. I left behind every material thing I owned except for my clothing,  a few precious heirlooms, and my dog. I drove and drove, all the while praying for the breaking of my life. I do not remember ever looking back.

“God, please break me and rip me from all attachments to this world and all that’s become of it. Close every door I’ve opened that has not pleased you and destroy all that I’ve created at the works of my hands.  Clean out all the junk I’ve treasured and collected over the years.  Remove any idol that had the affections of my heart. Break my laziness, disregard for the concern of others, and slothfulness! Break my willingness and eagerness to fit in when I know You’ve created me to stand out!”

I wondered if He could hear the sounds of me crying in the darkness? Those were the moans and tears of a woman who has built her house on pride and vanity.

I simply ask of You one thing, BREAK ME then re- build me fresh and new in You!

He did.

And when He was finished, He broke me into a life I had never known.

  • My heart now aches for those without Christ.
  • I despise spiritual complacency and hypocrisy.
  • He sees the darkness of  my heart so much more clearly.
  • I am bothered deeply by things I used to easily overlook.
  • I cry often and easily at His nearness.
  • I know Jesus more intimately.

I am please to be sweetly broken. This photo is how I respond to everything in my past.

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